Too many people have linked to today’s inane Spin & Buzzfeed posts, wherein grown-up adult-type professional writers have registered their dissatisfaction with Kidz Bop’s version of Macklemore’s “Thrift Shop.”
You guys: Kidz Bop is not for you. It is, as its name makes plain, for kidz. Not even all kidz, either! Really young kidz! (And the parentz of young kidz, who might want to listen to the popular songs of the day without having to explain to their 5-year-olds why R. Kelly’s sheets would smell like urine.)
Kidz Bop songs are indeed unpleasing to the ear of anyone outside of those two demographicz. But guess what: they are also stunningly easy to avoid. They are not played on the radio, they will not ruin your night by coming up on a jukebox, you will never accidentally hear them.
So if you have written or posted an article about how much you don’t like the Kidz Bop version of “Thrift Shop,” you are telling the world that you consumed- on purpose- something that was intended for a toddler, and that it was not to your liking.
You have in essence gone to a Toys-R-Us, bought a bubble mower with your own money, taken it home, tried it out, and then written a review that says: “This bubble mower didn’t mow my lawn- what is its problem?”
And then you signed YOUR OWN NAME.
Shut up, too many people.
Just want to make sure we’re all still making “shut up, too many people” happen.